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JOKES ABOUT THE ITALIANS

JOKES ABOUT THE ITALIANS

Everybody knows about  British humor, but Italians have their very own kind of humor, too.
It’s a mix of simple, self deprecating jokes and the bittersweet consideration that in Italy everything works, just not as intended. This pretty much means only an ironic sense of resignation will get you through the day without going crazy for the inefficiency of the system.
 
  • Italians are extraordinary people. I only wish they were normal. 
  • ’italiano e’ un popolo straordinario. Mi piacerebbe tanto che fosse un popolo normale. (Altan, famous Italian cartoonist)
Italians: good for nothing, capable of everything. 
  • Italiani: dei buoni a nulla capaci di tutto. (Leo Longanesi, journalist and artist)
  • Italians always run to help the winner. 
  • Gli Italiani corrono sempre in aiuto al vincitore. (Ennio Flaiano, screewriter and journalist)
  • In Italy nothing is as permanent as what’s temporary. 
  • In Italia nulla è stabile quanto il provvisorio. (Giuseppe Prezzolini, journalist and writer)
If the Berlin wall had been built by Italians, it would have come down on its own. 
  • Se il Muro di Berlino fosse stato costruito dagli Italiani, sarebbe caduto naturalmente. (Roberto Benigni, comedian)
  • Trains in Italy are so late they need to have a pregnancy test done.
In Italia i treni arrivano tanto in ritardo che bisogna fargli il test di gravidanza.
  • Italians have only two things on their mind. The other one is spaghetti. 
  • Gli italiani hanno solo due cose per la testa. L’altra sono gli spaghetti. (Catherine Deneuve, actress)
  • A German, an American and an Italian are discussing in a bar about the war, bragging about their respective navy fleets. The German: “we had such big air carriers that to move from bow to stern we had to use bicycles.” The American: “And so what?? Ours were so big we had to use motorcycles.” The Italian: “You both make me laugh! Our air carriers were so big there was a war going on at stern and at bow nobody knew what the hell was going on.”
  • Un Tedesco un Americano e un Italiano al bar discutono dei tempi della guerra vantandosi della propria flotta navale. Il Tedesco: “Noi avevamo delle portaerei così grandi che per spostarci da poppa a prua utilizzavamo le biciclette.” L’Americano: “E allora? Le nostre erano così grandi che per spostarci da poppa a prua utilizzavamo le moto.” L’italiano allora: “Mi fate ridere tutti e due. Le nostre portaerei erano così grandi che a prua c’era la guerra e a poppa non ne sapevamo niente!!!”
  • Humility is a stupendous virtue. The trouble is that many Italians apply it when filling in the tax form. 
  • L’umiltà è una virtù stupenda. Il guaio è che molti Italiani la esercitano nella dichiarazione dei redditi. (Giulio Andreotti, politician)
PS: We are of course all very proud to be Italian!